There are few things in a man’s life that draw more ridicule and scorn than when he reveals a trait that is branded “feminine”. After all – men are supposed to have no interest whatsoever in the feminine, and aspiring to anything feminine is so repulsive and foreign that any man who publicly displays such a pursuit is assumed to be gay or downright mental.
Why is it this way? Is it simply for practical reasons that men don’t express their feminine side, or is there some other reason? An exploration of the question brings up some very interesting reasons why men don’t wear dresses. Among the most popular explanations are:
- Dresses are uncomfortable and restrictive of movement: This reason forgets that there are many different styles of dresses that can be worn. Many dresses that you see women wear these days are actually less restrictive in movement, and would be more free below the waist than most pants that men already wear. Consider that dresses and skirts can be both cooler and place no pressure on the private ares like pants do (a plus for sexual health). The argument that dresses are uncomfortable makes no sense whatsoever unless it’s super-tight dresses we’re talking about – which the majority of women do not wear on a daily basis.
- Because only gay men would want to wear a dress: This is another completely silly argument. How many gay men have you ever met that wear dresses? When a woman wears pants to the office, or when she borrows her boyfriend’s sweater do we wonder if she’s a lesbian? Of course not. Multiple scientific studies have shown that less than 5% of crossdressers are homosexual. That means the overwhelming majority of men who would want to wear a dress are not gay at all.
- Cross dressing is a sin: This is a more complex argument, and is based on a literal interpretation of Deuteronomy 22:5 which states that neither women or men should wear each other’s clothing. There are numerous arguments against a literal interpretation of this text, and explanations that this Old Testament verse is more about using deception to lead another to sin than a wholesale condemnation of wearing an article of clothing from the opposite sex. Even if it was a wholesale condemnation what should we do with all the women who wear “boy shorts” and pants, and all the other verses in Deuteronomy that we ignore on a daily basis? What about all the men in the Middle East and Scotland who wear clothing that strikingly resemble their female counterparts?
Of course there are more reasons than just these three that people use to justify the negative stigma of a man wearing a dress. Most of the reasons though are pretty simplistic like, “it’s just wrong,” or “because it’s stupid”. But I’ve long believed there are deeper reasons behind why it’s seen as inappropriate for men to wear women’s clothing.
Recently I’ve come across some excellent discussions of the topic, and two in particular I think hit the nail on the head as to the underlying issue behind men who cross dress. A comment by Lauren O in one of those articles sums up the entire argument into a couple concise sentences:
“I think it’s perhaps more likely that it’s easier for society to accept women taking on men’s roles than it is for men to take on women’s roles, because women are seen as inferior. A woman wanting to take on men’s roles seems less offensive, because, the reasoning goes, who wouldn’t want to be a member of the superior sex? A man wanting to take on women’s roles seems more offensive, because what man would ever want to degrade himself like that?”
I couldn’t agree more. The majority of the negative responses to a man wearing a dress have to do with the way that some men (and women) comprehend the genders. Many individuals still see the woman’s role to serve the man and be subservient to him. Likewise, many people feel that they very reason a woman dresses the way she does is to simply impress men and garner their attention. If we’re to assume that the function of women, and the behavior of women is centered around pleasing and attracting men, it becomes perfectly reasonable for people to think that someone who wants to cross-dress is “gay”. But this argument also reveals that sexism and the viewing of women as “objects” is still alive and well in modern society. This has not only a continued negative effect on women, but on men who are stereotyped into their own roles as well.
Assessing attitudes towards cross-dressing men serves as an excellent litmus test for how an individual views the broader role of femininity in society.
I believe the negative response that both men and women have against men wearing dresses is more about the power of masculinity, and about how both men and women see the role of both genders in society. Even many women are threatened by their husband or boyfriend wearing a dress, much in the same way that men were once threatened by women burning bras, talking politics, and wearing trousers – but the reasons for such fear are based in sexism, inequality, and intolerance.
The reason that men don’t wear dresses (or let other men do it)? Because doing so dilutes the power that is imbued in masculinity; because a man in a dress isn’t just simply making a fashion statement, but is threatening a gender icon itself. Once men and women are truly equals, a man in a dress will be no big deal.
Further Reading:
Vernon Coleman: Why Do Men Wear Dresses? (And Why Do Some Women Get So Upset About It?)
Img credit: eyesontheroad.
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
I really enjoyed reading your post, Mattie. I think you are right on with the reasons why men cannot wear dresses. I never understood why men stopped wearing gowns and skirts. It just seems more reasonable for men to wear garments that allow easy access and comfort rather than those that are binding where they shouldn’t be. I have to believe that as progressive ideas permeate society, gender lines will begin to blur as more men become honest about what they would like to wear and how they would like to live. (Also, once corporations realize the profit potential in offering men a wider variety in clothing and vanity products, there will be greater social acceptance of men in dresses…).
I am frankly amazed that clothing companies have not sought to profit from the undeniable fact that given a chance and the “permission” to do so, many many, and maybe most men, would love to wear a dress, high heels, and beautiful underwear.
Remember the 70′s when we (boys)could all wear tight fitted clothing, long hair, and high heels? I am sitting in a very pretty dress as I write this. I simply prefer dresses to trousers. And yes, I also prefer pretty and soft underwear to boxer shorts too.
I am convinced that this is because I am not exclusively “male”, anymore than anyone else is exsclusively “female”. Gender is so little understood. Our understanding of ourselves in this respect, has in my oppinion, travelled backwards, as our societies have seemingly advanced.
The idiot that said women are from venus and men are from mars, was clearly a very repressed individual indded.
But this is a huge subject, and the more I read, the more excited I get about the future being far more relaxed than is hitherto the case.
Some people profiteer by fostering beliefs that add to notions of actual differences between the sexes. In so doing, they ignore that all people are individuals. But the mental health cult wants to COLLECTIVIZE everyone. In clothing, women are treated as individuals and are inundated with messages saying “express yourself any way you wish” whereas men are collectivized and told they are “transvestites” if they want choices. Yet, to want choices is a human, not female only, characteristic. People who have degrees in “human sexuality” are largely know nothing, be nothing, do nothing SOB’s (like John Money). They never saw a Greek soldier in his short full petticoat and would not know how to classify him. However, what needs to be studied is not men in skirts, but rather, the behaviorist needs to be STUDIED. He needs to be studied as a subject specimen, and monitored by everyone to see what his “clinical disorders” consist of. Haw f*****g haw. Women wear 2 styles because society raises them with choices. Men wear 1 style because society raises them without choices. This is LEARNED behavior, not biologically determined. The Mars/Venus B.S. is irrational. Both sexes have worn both styles forever in various times and places with NO “threat to the family unit.”
I once heard one of the dancers from the Ballet Trocadero discuss this. He was asked why can women crossdress and men can’t. He didn’t think it had anything to with “forsaking men’s privilege” or “the Bible.” He said men could wear and have worn any style of clothing you can think of, but they don’t wear women’s clothes because it evokes laughter. Why? Because of proportion. He used the analogy of a cartoonist’s mantra: A mouse imitating an elephant? Interesting. An elephant imitating a mouse? Funny. No one wants to be laughed at. He thought it was as simple as that.
This world around us is going to hell in a hand basket the econame is up side down and yet we say all kinds of things about a man in a dress o come on If we spent as much time and energe fighting the goverment as we do about a man in a dress we just might get this world in shape. Do we really have the right or the time to worry about what a man wear’s. We worry about little s**t like this when our kid’s are being shoot at in our schools our life as we know it is being taken away form us BUT let’s worry about that man in a dress THING i guess thats moor inportan WHAT EVER quit jugeing others for what they wear and let’s get our live’s back from the you know wat’s in Washington. Or can’t a man in a dress even do anything about this?????
Dresses are not designed for men and are too feminine. In reality pants are not designed with a mans anatomy in mind. All the cloth is sowed together right across the privates. Any man can tell you they frequently get pinched or crushed by pants and it hurts. A better option is traditi0nal masculine garments such as a kilt, lava lava, cafton, and other such unbifurcated garments worn around the world. Pants are not a badge of masculinity when 95 percent of the women are wearing them. Any man having wrapped a towel around himself upon exiting the shower knows how comfortable it is.
I would prefer to wear dresses all the time, but sadly society views women wearing mens clothing, but not the opposite. Why this is don’t know, when I do dress up I pass as a female, with the exception of my voice
My view is that women, in their blind pursuit of “equality” and consequential desire to become more like men have eschewed sexy underwear on the grounds that it is too “girly”. Men resent this and I’m not surprised that they have taken over this role. Women have lost the plot, and if men want to wear skirts and lingerie, who do women have to blame but themselves? Look at a street in any place, any time, during the UK summer – who is baring their legs; yes, it’s the man in shorts – his daughter may be wearing a dress, but she’ll give that up at about 7 years old and his son will probably be wearing bermudas. And what’s the woman wearing? Leggings of course, even though it’s 25 degrees C.
So why is anyone surprised that it might be men who end up wearing summer dresses? Women sure as hell don’t any more.
My reply to this intriguing article is that the roles of perceived dominance between men and woman are defiantly the key factor of cross-dressing and male feminization. I’ve been a part time cross dresser for as long as I can remember but, after much thought and long talks with my wife, I believe I started this life style around the time I realized the difference in the roles of male and female. I have a type “A” personality and have always loved the difference in the way I feel and am looked at by both male and female alike while dressed in woman’s clothing. I don’t think this is an original thought do to the number of dominating and sissification web-sites on the net. I believe, and hope there will always be a segregation of the sexes otherwise, what’s the point of cross-dressing? I personally do it to “feel” more feminine.
I wear skirts & dresses because i fell as myself dressed as such. I go to town, local stores, malls wearing dresses and skirts and heels. My wife goes with me and helps me pick out all of my dresses and we have a lot
of fun with it. It is also a lot of fun to see all the looks i get.
POWER TO THE MEN WHO HAVE THE NERVE TO DRESS THE
WAY THEY FELL !!!!!
The primary reason men don’t wear dresses is because the bodice generally doesn’t reach a man’s waist (by about 2-3 inches) while the skirt portion generally reaches to just above the knees. I prefer the dresses that flare out from just under the arms in an a-line. Mostly however I prefer skirts that are also a-line. I also like to wear skorts (a skirt w/built in shorts), but not the short ones, mine go to 1-2 inches above my knees. I can wear these because I’m thin at only 135lbs. I do not shave my legs, nor do I try to pass myself off as a female, which some guys try to do and look rediculous. If women would start demanding that stores like Walmart, etc, would start carrying skirts for men it would take away the stigma of them being womens/girls garments. Mothers, wives and girlfriends of guys should buy their men/boys a couple of skirts, take away their pants for the summer, and let them feel the comfort of breeze coming up on their thighs. The men/boys do not have to wear panties like some feminist group say or would like. Although some panties are a little bit more comfortable then the bulky underwear we guys normally wear, especially tighty-whiteys, you could use the thick leg holes for a tourniquet for a severe would, yes they are that thick. Boxers just bunch up under a skirt, trust me I know. Another thing is that men’s or boys (if of age) sperm counts are affected by heat, meaning the looser the garment the more productive a male would be. A skirt is a lot looser than any pair of pants or shorts that guys wear, including the baggie type because they still have a seam that goes up through the legs.
Honestly, I’m a kid doing a project on the 60′s for school and stumbled across this. I am a closet cross-dresser, and honestly it is more so the comedy and mystery behind me that makes me want to wear my mom’s lingerie while she and my dad are at work.
Every crazy clothes day at my middle school you see half-the guys wearing dresses over jeans and t-shirts, frilly tutus, and heels. Meanwhile the girls just wear a slipper, dye their hair, and forget about it.
to Aunt jo-momma;
If you are a real crossdresser then why hide in the closet. Did you know that it is fashionable for guys to wear skirts or skorts.
In Japan they can’t keep them on the shelves almost similar to the jeans chaos from the late 70s into the 80s. If you really want to wear some comfortable go to marcus uniforms on the internet. They have skorts in Navy blue, black and tan. Skorts are skirts with shorts sewn into them. The shorts are on nylon and a shorter then the hem of the skirt. My friends and I wear them everywhere. To the store, gas station, even to kmart. You could even wear them to the library. These are more acceptable then regular skirts. Nobody has ever said a derogatory remark to any of us, even if we were by ourselves at the stores or places mentioned. Since the shorts are similar to the liners in mens’ swimtrunks (not transparent) there is one other comfort issue, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WEAR ANY TYPE OF UNDERWEAR. The cost is reasonable as well, only $7 each. Try spending your money on a couple of them, wear them around for a couple of days, you won’t want to wear pants again. TRUST ME, I wear them.
I am a hetrosexual male, that wears lingerie and dresses, every chance I get. I for one, prefer, vintage style lingerie and dresses. Like the Lucy dresses, and circle skirts. To bad that they stopped making femine looking dresses and skirts!
Daniel,
I do agree that the dresses today don’t express much in feminity. I wore my first dress at 11 years of age. The reason for this was nor forced dressing but because my mother firmly believed boys could and should wear dresses. My first dress was a girls party dress. It was yellow with a flower print on the bottom. It also had a sewn in petticoat attached. Almost similar to Easter dresses today, but they were fuller and tapered out from the waist because of the petticoats. This dress along with anklet socks and maryjanes, my mother said I was very cute. My brothers rejected the dresses by destroying them, but I loved them.
I thought how could a person NOT want to wear something so soft, so pretty and so comfortable. Over the nxt 5 years my mother kept adding dresses to my closet. This was in 1961 to 1966, you would have to look at vintage little girls dresses at that time to fully understand what I am saying.
Tammy,
I agree that there are certain men who feel that they NEED to express their feminine side. It dwells in each of us, male or female, due to our DNA make-up. I too like to express my girly side on occasion, but also feel that mens clothes are sparse as to styles and by allowing skirts and dresses in men’s styles would open a new avenue for all concerned. For instance, when I was 11 I had the prettiest party dresses anyone could want, I also had everyday dresses that were not all frills and lace. Some did not require petticoats or slips. My mother encouraged me to wear them, so I did have an advantage over most boys. While I did not play sports, I did love riding my bicycle in the dresses. The freedom was unbelievable. I did not start wearing skirts til later in life.
I still like lacey frilly dresses and probably will for the rest of my life. I also like to go out in my more masculine skirts, skorts and kilts. Not everyday is for the wearing of the frilly things, just for special occasions, like birthdays and holidays.
Well I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively, it’s gotten so that I hate pants. While it is difficult sometimes to find a dress that fits right and doesn’t make me look ridiculous, it is possible and I have several. It’s much easier to find a nice skirt. Many of the womens skirts do not look feminine at all so it’s easy to find one that looks very stylish and appropriate. Also, since you can buy a different size top than what the skirt is, it’s much easier to get a combination that fits correctly. Of course I also like to wear very feminine looking skirts and tops on occasion too, it all depends on the situation. So skirts and dresses look nicer and are more comfortable. I expect that soon more men will catch on to that secret.
Don,
I too like dress but prefer skirts. They are a lot more veratile
then dresses. DRESSES ARE ONLY SKIRTS WITH THE TOPS ATTACHED. Skirts (my preferred clothing) are like pants sort of. You can mix and match tops a lot easier.
For instance with my Navy blue skirt/skort I can wear a pink polo shirt, a light blue Polo or even a vertical striped blue and white polo. The polos can be womens or mens since there is little difference. The best part with the changes of the tops each outfit looks a little different from the others.
One skirt with three different tops gives you an outfit for three different days. Thats half a week. Thus it cuts down on laundry as long as your skirt doesn’t get dirty or stained.
Im male and wear denim mini skirt also wear black tights on that look nice as Im too slim body shape (smaller waist and wide hip as Im suffered from weight loss) – cant wear men clothes size included trousers cos it too big for me. Skirts usual good to wear and very lighter also comfortable, easy to wash and iron – cheap than buy trousers like Ebay i got quite a lots of mini skirt (denim, velvet and cord) between £1.99 to £10 – i usual wear black tights then skirt on and any top to make look nicely and then either flat shoes like pump or calf suede boots/knee-length boots (flat heels). It nothing wrong with men in skirt as it normal clothes as women already wearing most of it so it your body to wear as it yer business – no one tell you what to wear, it yer money to buy and wear so have fun.
Look at the three comments first stated in this article.
The comment of uncomfortable or restrictive can only be derived from the style or cut of the dress. I have found that dresses are actually more comfortable and less restrictive if the styles are in a more a-line then in straight slim styles. These styles are however usually only available during the spring, summer or early fall months. I have a 36″ stride as most men have a longer stride then most women. Men also walk with their legs apart with the feet outward as opposed to women who place one foot in front of the other. A dress is less restrictive in allowing me a normal stride or if I need to run for some reason
As far as only gay men would wear a dress is completely wrong. Gay males are trying to attract other males. They want to appear as masculine as possible for most (only about 8% of gay males crossdress). Some even go to extremes to express their masculinity by wearing leather and chains, growing beards or bushy moustaches. Most guys who wear dresses seek females for sexual partners, and somme women like to see their guys expressing their feminine side.
As far as it being sinful, that is without merit. The only sexual sin is LUST. It is the coveting of those who are not available. That includes gays, lesbians or straights. Those who lust after the girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband of another, even though they are engaged with another person is the one guilty of lust and has commited a sin in god’s eye. God stated in the bible
he/she made us in his/her image, so I can only conclude that God is transgendered. Neither male nor female, but a combination of both genders. Even Angels are of both genders,
dressed alike in flowing gowns and robes with the same glowing halos.
It should therefore be acknowledged by all that is human, that other then genitalia there is no difference between that of a man or a woman. When the world finally wakes up to this fact as well as others (race,creed, etc), that we will move forward to really solve some of our greatest problems.
It is good for people to be honest to themselves. I am sitting here writing this, wearing nylon granny panties, a vintage nylon slip, a pretty padded bra, pumps, and a vintage dress. You make the clothing; it does not make you. Were what expresses your true self.
Being true to your self is what it is abought . Clothing was invented to keep you from getting scrapes and cuts . if you take the bibles vew god only gave anamial skins to cloth man after they thought they they were naked ….. I wear skirts,dresses,bras,pantys 24/7 . 360 a year if a person feels more comfrentable in a skirt than pants they should just go for it … Dont let the sheeple tell you what to wear because you only get one shot at life and and going to your death bed with regrets is not a good thing live life to the fullest …
besides i like skirts & dresses they are way more confrormt to wear than shorts or pants !!!!
I have read most of the comments here.I love to wear dresses for a lot of the same reason. I love the feel and looks of preety dresses and skirts. One thing I really did notice when having a skirt on when driving long distant.very more confortable not having the pants ridding up into my crotch and being unconfortable.skirts and dress are very more jst because of that.not to mention lots cooler on warm days’ I like the feeling of the air up my skirt. i am feminine when I want to be and manly when I want. i wish we could wear what we want.Lets face it women clothes are a lot preetier. and I love preety clothes.
I can’t say that I understand any of this, but like any curious 7 yr old boy, I discovered the innocent pleasure of shuffling in my mothers high heels. I’m not quite sure why I thought it would be a good idea but I did it and I liked it. I didn’t grow up to be a cross-dresser but I do find masculine men who wear women’s clothing somewhat intriguing. I recently discovered this painting of a masculine guy in pink heels. The artist captured exactly what I’ve always found to be fascinating about a man wearing a article of women’s clothing. http://fineartamerica.com/featured/1-angelas-husband-steffen-anderson.html
G.G HAVE IT MADE IN THE FASHION WORLD # 1 THEY CAN WEAR SKIRTS, OR DRESSES . THEY CAN ALSO WEAR PANTS,MENS…SHIRTS MENS.. SENAKERS MES… TIES MEN…. SPORTS JACKETS MENS… & SO ON. THE ONLY TIME I CAN PUT ON A SKIRT OR DRESS ( IM A CROSSDRESSER) IS ON HALLOWEEN AND NOT GET THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF ME, ITS TOTALLY UN FAIR.
I agree with you as I also am a crossdresser. But on thing that I have discovered is going out of a drive late at night dressed can still satisfy your need to want to be out in public. I know that’s what I do! It does suck though, especially since Holloween is still 3+ months away.
Wearing womans cloths, helps bring out the softer side of a man , a side I think men tend to surpress for the manly mocho he-man image, That our society demands, men are hunters and killers, woman are child beares and home makers, peaceful in most cases. I for one enjoy being dressed as a woman , I like to feel like a woman, soft wishing I was desireed and sote after, alas that is a dream but one I hang on to , I especially like frilly pink panties and frilly tops and skirts, high heels and nylons.
I get home and change right way, I leave the world of the angry male on the world side and enter into the home maker wife and sensual love giver, just need some woman to accept my gifts of affection.
It is up to the women in this coountry to start the change you are talking about. Have you bought your husband,
boyfriend or son a skirt or dress. Have you encourage them to express their femine side. While we male do have a feminine side, we are taught to suppress it. Our feminine side is always there, it is in our DNA. 26 Chromesomes,
13 from your Mother and the same from your Father.
In the womb, all babies were initially female (fact). Look at the head of the male penis, near the pea-hole, you will see that the soft tissue looks like a girls genitals. I am sorry I can’t draw it here for you, but it is exactly like a girls, slit and all.
I am proud to call my self a crossdresser. I wear mini skirts, nylons and high heels. But I believe that when I’m out in public dressed I get a mixed response… Some men are checking me out because they are either attracted to me or disgusted of me being dressed as a women. Women mostly try to pay not attention or are looking trying to see if I’m a man in a skirt and heels. I wish that I could go out into public dressed wearing what I feel comfortable in and receive the same respect that I would if I were in a suit and a tie. But let’s be realistic… If that day ever does happen, it’s not going to be for some time! Good luck to you all!
First I wear mt skirts out shopping, to the park, and to various other places. I have found women in general do look at what you are wearing. They are looking for the style, color coordination, shoes and other things. If properly attired women will comment (in public) how well you look, also if you look cheap (hooker style) they will make derogatory remarks.
I do not attempt to pass as a woman, my beard is to heavy, I am six foot tall. my only favorable aspect is my weight (134 lbs).
Don’t get me wrong, I also like dresses but don’t care for most of the styles available today. To many of them are body forming and restrict movement. The only dresses that are not are summer dresses. The problem with these for me is that they show my breasts. As a boy I had started developing breasts and was given shots to stop them, but not until they reached a B-cup.
My girlfriend discovered this when we went to a halloween
party (me as a woman). After putting the bra on me (a push-up bra) she exclaimed “you’ve got cleavage”. She was amazed guys could grow breasts. she always thouls thing.
Getting back to the subject of skirts and dresses for men and boys. Up until 1947 you could buy a boy a “boys Dress”, they were sold via mail order or in the cities at major department stores. (picaswebalbums-robertmooresphotos)(his/clo.com).
Also men slept in nightshirts (mens nightgown). For some unknown reason these items fell to the wayside. Why, it didn’t turn them gay. were even special dresses for boys for domestic
work with pinafores. There were even ribbons and bows for boys hair. For some reason we also let this fall away. We allowed the over machoism to replace it. Since then domestic violence has increased dramatically. Boys overly expressing
their male dominance. Also unfortunately this also increased the cases of prostrate problems, and cancers of the male genitalia (wearing of pants). It was discovered that pants increase temps by a couple of degrees throwing off required balances. Depending upon the pants worn the temps could cause unrepairable damage. A two degree celcius increase is all that is required.
We need to get back into the boys and mens skirts and dresses.
If for no other reason then for mens health.
I am a male that does wear lingerie, dresses, skirts ect… People all have hang ups. Most individuals, have something to hide in their lives, and therefore attack things, they do not understand. I am 100% hetrosexual.
I am a guy and I recently went into a ladies lingerie store and purchased a satin kimono wrap. The sales assistant did not think anything was untoward when she knew the garment was for myself to wear and even went onto say that there’s nothing wrong in treating yourself to a little bit of luxury. Both satin and silk has been utilised for many years by garment manufacturers for it’s luxorious qualities but why is it that society only deems it accaptable for women and not men to partake in this little bit of luxury? For many years women have been crying out for equal rights and yet go into any clothes store and just look at the differences between men’s and women’s clothes with their choice of fine materials, fine colours and fine designs. No my friend, it is my belief that it should be the men crying out for equal rights.