One of the ways in which the diversity among crossdressers most obviously manifests is the extent to which it’s a social activity. Seemingly, for every closeted crossdresser who’s wardrobe is well hidden and who’s dressing is done in a stealthy fashion, in solitude, there’s a CD who’s dressing centers around hooking up with their “girlfriends” for a night out on the town. In between, of course, are those with supportive partners who may go out to dinner with their significant other, or those who simply like to drive into the city for a day of girl-time shopping and maybe a movie.
To an extent, of course, going out depends on how “out” you are, but CD’s have a solid track record of finding ways to get away from judgmental eyes in order to get out of the house. The stories of those who travel for business and dress while they are on the road away from home are certainly legion. It’s also true that the extent to which you have a more urban area to be out and about in, the more opportunity you have. The CD who lives in a small town 200 miles from the nearest significant city has a lot fewer options. I’m a small town girl and I find that I might easily run across someone I know in pretty much any surrounding small town or city. If I want a better than average chance at complete anonymity, I have to travel 70 miles one way. Admittedly, for some that’s not a significant drive, but if you are sneaking then perhaps you have some difficulty explaining such a trip. Everyone’s situation is different.
On the other hand, CDs who are out and proud don’t need to cover their tracks so well. They either don’t care who sees or are accepted for who they are. These are the ones whom I tend to think of as being more likely to be doing the Girls Night Out thing. This, too, is a function of being more urban than rural. In my experience, small town t-folk are much more likely to try to stay under the radar, and that leads to less opportunity to socialize. Often you find yourself sort of forced into the awkward fit of places like drag bars in order to at least get into the ballpark of socializing with like minded people.
Of course, there’s no place better to find like minded people, if you can afford it and if you can “get away with it” than the conferences. While they are ostensibly transgender conferences, the impression most get from events like the Southern Comfort Conference is that they are somewhat dominated by crossdresers. In fairness, probably many of those precived as CDs are, in fact, trans-girls in the very early stages of coming to terms with their condition, but even so, it can be fairly stated that it’s a rare opportunity for the CD to immerse themselves in the company of those like themselves.
Truth is, that’s probably a real good thing for one’s mental health. It’s probably true, at least from my layperson’s point of view, that too much isolation in this lifestyle leads to a lot of unhealthy emotion – guilt, shame, regret – and being able to get out “into the daylight” so to speak has to be good for anyone’s mindset. Here’s hoping that if you are deeply in the closet, you can find some ways to take “her” out for some sunshine (or moonlight even!).
Photo by: mafleen