One of the challenges of blogging on this site is discussing original subjects when so very much has been written in the last five to ten years about the trans life. I don’t think I’m “talking out of school” as we say in the south to let you in on that bit of behind the scenes information. Even more so, to make every post positive and uplifting and affirming. But it stands to reason that from time to time you take a peak at the . . . darker . . . side of these issues.
Another nuance is to be careful you are not misunderstood on what particular segment of the trans experience and given posts refers to. I say without any animosity or judgment but in all frankness, being a crossdresser is a distinct thing from being transsexual. Not better or worse, but distinct. There are ways, certainly many, in which the commonalities bind them together. But there are just as many ways in which the distinction creates subtle and not so subtle differences in our experiences, our feelings, and our circumstances. The truism often repeated that a crossdresser is often just a transsexual who hasn’t fully realized it yet being noted and laid aside for the purpose of this post.
For example, a transsexual can anticipate a long struggle to afford, then endure, the necessary procedures to bring about a physical congruence (to whatever degree the individual needs to change things to find peace). This is not true of the crossdresser (so self-identified). In another sense, the CD has a lot more options on the table in terms of confidentiality than the TS. Part of the transition process by definition forces the TS out into the public eye in a way the CD may never have to face. Likewise, I suspect, the CD is probably going to be even more harshly judged by cis-folk, particularly men, for their behavior.
Which is an unnecessarily long introduction to what turns out to be a very simple thought for today – but one that was necessary, as you will see, because the question applies specifically to the CD and is a non-sequiter for the TS. The thought is this: Have you experienced fluctuations in your level of interest in dressing? I’m not here so much referring to shame induced purges, or forced abstinence by a disapproving partner. Rather, I’m referring to an actual decline in, or even absence of, interest for a season. I can’t really speak to this subject from personal experience. There was a long stretch in my life when I didn’t dress, but dressing was never the end by itself for me and it was not a matter of lack i\of interest but something much more complex.
But from discussions I’ve seen over the years, I get the impression that it’s fairly common for a CD to go through “hot” seasons in which the interest level is quite high and the enjoyment of dressing is likewise high, and other “cooler” seasons when it’s just not worth the bother. Not because of regret or shame but just a good old fashioned case of “meh.” Does this sound familiar to you?
Photo by: dolldreamer