His and Hers?
So, getting back to the more light and fluffy side of the blog – today’s question is this:
Does your fem side have her own distinct personality, interests, and tastes? That is, for example, if you are a basketball fan, does “she” like it too? Would you watch a game while dressed? Or is she going to be watching the chick flick on Lifetime instead?
In the conversations I’ve read or been a part of across the net, the split on this seems fairly even. Many CDs consider their fem persona to be an entirely separate personality. When dressed, they not only present a feminine image but are conscious of being “girlish” in all the things under their control. Just as often, I’ve heard it said that dressing is just an outlet and a comfortable place for the CD who feels no hesitation at doing stereotypically guy things while dressed.
Of course I’m aware that the question presumes upon gender binary stereotypes that not everyone agrees with and some actively despise, but I have to be honest – whatever the transgender person thinks of the whole business of “defying the binary”, I have to believe that if there were no gender binary distinctions, there would be little point in crossdressing. It would be no more significant than the woman who’s more comfortable in jeans and a baseball cap than in a skirt. I, for one, am a fan of the binary. I’m a girly girl and I am very much attached to the privilege of being girly with all the stereotypes attached. Obviously I’m fully supportive of equal rights and opportunities for all women everywhere, but at the same time, I embrace the distinctiveness of male and female (with all due respect to those who had rather not be identified as either). I do have some stereotypically male interests and habits, as well as some unavoidable obligations, but part of the joy of transition for me was being comfortable indulging myself, so to speak, in some of the stereotypes that others find outdated or even offensive.
For instance, I very much like it when a man holds the door for me, or offers to do some sort of heavy lifting that I could do myself out of a sense of gentlemanliness. I’m not above thinking “I wish I had a man here to do this for me.” I don’t care much for getting dirty or physical labor or being in charge. Even though in reality I’m pretty good at that last. So yes, I confess, there’s a bias to my question. I’m assuming some “gender roles” that perhaps you feel no particular allegiance to.
Still, that admission aside, it’s a valid topic of conversation because those folks comfortable with the binary far outnumber those trying to live outside it. Where do you stand? Do you segregate your fem side into “girly”behavior? Or do you mix it up? Heck, maybe your dominant male identity is comfortable with some”girly” aspects for all I know.
Photo by: VSPYCC