Her for the Holidays
[note: due to an error, probably mine, this article failed to publish at the appointed time. I apologize for the lack of timeliness which has resulted but perhaps it will yet prove interesting reading.]
So, Thanksgiving (and Black Friday!) is behind us, and this is really a question that should rightfully have been ask before that passed but that kind of collided with the TdoR so I tabled it until now, but really, the question is probably even more on point as Christmas approaches a little more than two weeks hence. The question for your consideration is this: what impact do the holidays, and the resulting get-togethers, celebrations, and family gatherings have on your ability to indulge your feminine side?
There is, of course, a great deal of variation in the context of this question depending on where you stand on the trans spectrum. For those transwomen living full time as a female, obviously you cannot, or do not wish to, simply “turn that off” in order to cater to the views of your family or other disapproving acquaintances. Many there be, of course, who suffer disinvitation to those gathering at which they were once a regular, others are not officially disinvited but know that to participate engenders cold shoulders and hurt feelings in place of the previous warmth.
For those who are open about their dressing lifestyle, I can only assume that few there be who’s circle of friends and loved ones would be accepting of the crossdresser participating en femme, albeit there may well be parties or gatherings at which your female alter ego is a welcome guest and a popular participant in the fun.
For still others, who’s crossdresing interest is kept confidential, of course the holiday season is an unending series of “drab” events in which you have no choice but to present the world your typical male appearance. Perhaps such a one might make a special effort to get out to the mall while dressed and at least mingle with strangers while expressing their femininity.
I suppose though, that my main thought in introducing the subject are those for whom the demands of the holiday season directly conflict with their own self-perception and ability to participate in the joy that we see in others. I’m reminded of a friend of mine who describes her experiences of, from time to time, visiting her aging grandparents, to whom she is still closeted. It has to be a troubling and depressing thing to realize that that which is supposed to be a relationship who’s lifeblood is unconditional love is not, in fact, unconditional – but would be shaken to it’s core, if not destroyed, by the revelation of the trans person’s true nature. At that season of the year when, traditionally, we are most willing to open our hearts and show love to each other – ironically the trans person is reminded forcefully that if they do not “play the game” and wear the man-mask, that love might well be lost.
Perhaps this is not so completely true for the crossdresser who identifies as male, for they only conceal a part of themselves, but surely each of us must, at some point, have stopped and wondered – what would they think of me if they knew? Surely, that’s not a thought process that adds joy to the holiday season. Here’s hoping we can each find a place where we can experience some holiday joy in spite of our circumstances.
Photo by: fireflythegreat