I’m no slacker. I bet you thought I just wrote fancy stuff all the time for pay, didn’t you? The truth is, I also assemble air ducts. Yep, All 5 feet 5 inches and 140 pounds of me assembles air ducts on an assembly line right along with a bunch of foul mouthed alpha males. I am also out as transgender at this work place, and everything seems to be humming along just fine.
Do you want to be out and everything to be pretty cool at your workplace? I admit that I came into this job as trans. I interviewed with a male legal name, had a gender neutral uniform on (from a different job), and in full make up / long hair mode. I was told that I was very overqualified for the position and sent on my way. The very next morning I got a phone call and was offered the job. I suspect that their trepidation had something to do with my presentation. No matter, after I signed my name along the line accepting the job offer I told them the story, informed them that my name was set to change in 2 weeks, and I require use of the women’s restrooms whether I wear makeup or not. I live in California, so they had no choice but to swallow that pill.
Does the area where you live have laws that protect you based upon your gender presentation or identity? You should do a search to find that out. Nothing fancy, just google transgender rights in your state or country and you should be able to hunt down the information you need to begin seriously contemplating your change. Many places offer a discrimination policy that prevents their employees from discriminating against you as long as the root cause is your gender identity. Such policies would mean that if you were to begin working as a woman, then you have the right to demand that you be given the same treatment as other women in your workplace.
Are you afraid that it would disrupt chemistry? The truth is, it absolutely will. When I switched on the job over a year ago (different place of work, sorry to jump around), I was treated as a stranger by some of the men and as an intruder by some of the women. People have a hard time handling it. Often times they want to do the right thing, and they have to decide whether they want to do right by their beliefs, the law, or by social norms. If you had some special relationship with your superiors that was rooted in your previous (or current) gender presentation it will be altered. I’m not necessarily saying that’s a bad thing. The office manager may instantly girlfriend you or the boss man that you had beers with on Saturday will put an end to your weekly forays. They would now be reacting to the real you, and the tradeoff is worth it.
If you are concerned enough you may want to talk to a human resources representative and help them understand your needs. In my case they really wanted to have a team meeting to discuss the issue before I showed up as Emma, but I was in a bad mental place and elected to show up as Emma the very next day. I figured that once they knew they had to be able to react to the change immediately. I’m not sure my way was the best way, but I did it, and I still have that job. I have an air of bravada, a borderline haughty self confidence that my mother has referred to as “cavalier,” and I beg you not to do as I did. You may get yourself into trouble (but it’s totally worth it).
If living and working as a woman is your goal my family’s maxim regarding children may apply: There is never a good time or way to jump in, you just do it. So prepare yourself with knowledge about the law where you live, begin informing your HR personnel, and jump in.
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Hi Emma
Your post is an inspiration to move forward. You’re right that people will act different no matter what. Thank you for admitting that you could have come out a little differently. It’s good to live in California.
I want and need to come to my family and then work but it us that immense fear that has got we so scared. Reading posts like yous gives me hope that I can do this.
Thank you
Melanie
You’re welcome
All you can do is take the dive. No amount of planning is going to prepare you for the reactions of others. Those reactions will also change over time, so a person that may seem fine will end up distancing themselves. It really is a white knuckle experience.
I just returned from the Philippines. As many are probably aware of, several TS/TG make for a higher percentage of the population than in countries such as the United States; however, they are often seen working at beauty salons. In nations such as the Philippines, a country with few sports heroes, and several children raised fatherless, paternal figures are less significant. Instead, less-intimidating maternal figures fill the void. Filipino stoicism is counter productive in the face of foreign interests and only leads to more economic strife.
Importance of feminine aestheticism is evident in everyday Filipino life. Beauty pageant contestants receive the same recognition often reserved for war heroes and Olympic gold medalists in most countries. Beauty is viewed as short cut to achieving economic prosperity and adoration. As a result, it is not uncommon for genetically male children to view beauty queens and maternal figures as role models.
Though the Philippines is often considered less tolerable compared with the United States in many aspects regarding civil/equal l rights, America’s disproportionately small TS/TG community faces more public ostracism and alienation compared with TS/TG community which play an important societal role partly because of a higher percentage which make up the general population. Simply because the TS/TG community is less visible throughout less densely-populated areas and some major cities throughout developed countries such as the US, despite the general seemingly only ‘skin-deep’ acceptance, many TS/TG will be considered freakish or taboo in the minds of many. Unless TS/TG become more visible as important figures in multidisciplinary fields ranging from home economics to the sciences, TS/TGs will always remain on the fringe of Western mainstream society, rarely seen in the eyes of children as role models.
Thank you for your insightful post, and all the way from the Phillipines! What an adventure, where did you go?
I wish I had a good friend as you to to come out and be my true self. I have tried to make friends with others like ourselves,but living in a small community in the testosterone and beer soaked state of Texas I dont have a chance. Keep up the good work. Tammy