A Day for Lovers
Ah the season of pre-arranged, formalized, romance rituals is upon us! The say that spring is the season when hearts turn to thoughts of love, and it is not yet spring, but the traditions of Western culture dictate that we observe certain – very gender specific I might ad! – customs.
Now in my own home, my significant other is not at all supportive. She ranges from gritted-teeth tolerance, to benign indifference, to open hostility depending on the context of the moment. The idea that I’d ever be on the female end of a Valentine’s romantic ritual is positively alien to contemplate. She will not so much as apply a feminine pronoun in reference to me. I find myself in the somewhat uncomfortable and awkward position of either ignoring the holiday, or tolerating some level of “male role” activity.
But of course, many of you are quite at peace with the male side of your identity, and I’m sure that for you guys, Valentine’s is hardly a hick-up in the ebb and flow of your romantic relationship. That you have a female alter-ego is no more relevant to your role in the holiday activities than would be, for instance, the name of your favorite sports team.
Another category would cover those for whom their relationship is with another male-bodied person. It’s not difficult to imagine that one such as that would be the object of pampering in the coming days.
Ah, but then there are those crossdressers for whom the feminine identity is much more an integral part of their relationship with their significant other. I wonder then, how have those of you in this group worked out your own family romantic traditions? Do you and your partner slide easily into the role of “lesbian” lovers? Or do you put “her” away for the moment? Has your feminine self ever been the object of the sort of romantic attention that we commonly associate with this holiday? Ever gotten pretty flowers, addressed to “her”? Candy? Even Lingerie? A spa trip? (If you’re blessed enough to pull that later off then you seriously “got game”!)
In my estimation, it would be the sign of an admirably strong relationship if you were married to a woman who was just as willing to embrace your fem self as her loving partner as your guy self. I hope that each of you, no matter your specific plans, create memories and accumulate “stories to tell” over the coming days
Photo by: Dave Parker