How my sister found out
I recently wrote about coming out to my parents. Since then I’ve been trying to find the right time to come out to my younger brother and sister as well. At Thanksgiving when we were all at my parents house I thought I might do it then, but the time never felt right for having that conversation. I also wanted to tell both my siblings at the same time because I felt that it might be easier on them in case one or both of them was made uncomfortable by my coming out, and nobody would feel like they were the last one to find out. It didn’t happen that way though.
Missing that opportunity at Thanksgiving meant that I had to wait at least another 6 months or so, until we all got together again. But in the meantime, my sister (who lives very close to me) had figured out something was up.
One weekend a few weeks ago when she was over for a visit, we were looking through digital pictures on my wife’s computer and came across a picture that was labeled “Girl Inside.” There was a few early pictures we had taken early on for graphics on this website. Naturally she asked, “what’s The Girl Inside?” I was a bit freaked, but responded, “oh nothing. It’s a surprise.” I knew I had blew it though. She’d likely go home, and google “girl inside” and my blog would be the first thing that came up. Sure enough, that’s what happened. She had returned home, found my blog, and read the entire thing (hi sis). The details in the blog were enough to completely give away that it was my blog.
So a couple weeks ago my sister and I are sitting in the living room and she drops the bomb and says, “don’t be mad, but I know.” I was pretty sure I knew what she was talking about, but I tried to play it cool. “Know about what?” I asked. “Do you think you know what I’m talking about?”, she said. “I think so.” I responded. Sure enough, we were thinking the same thing.
What surprised me was that she explained that she’d known since I was a teenager. “Teenager?” I asked in complete surprise, thinking of how much energy I spent hiding this my whole life. But she went on to explain that she always knew that I had a “feminine side” from about my teenage years, and that I wasn’t the same as other guys in her life. To her it wasn’t a big deal, actually she felt it was just “who I was” and she had no idea that I had an internal struggle about it. She had seen this side of my personality as a positive thing. She also said that it was obviously no big deal to her, and that it actually made sense. She wasn’t really aware of what ‘transgender’ meant, or that I would consider myself that, but that it seemed fitting.
So as it turns out, this blog was how I ended up coming out to my sister, and it’s been a huge relief having her know (since then my brother also has found out, and I’ll write about that soon).
Have you had any experiences coming out to siblings? If you haven’t come out yet, do you think your siblings will be able to accept you?
Image Credit: MJLphoto.com