Your comment regarding Johns Hopkins is only partially true. It is true that after being the first major health center to perform SRS operations in the United States that they indeed did stop performing them in the late 70′s. But JH didn’t simply ‘determine’ that changing sex was an inappropriate treatment – it’s not that simple. In the 70′s, and even today there’s much controversy about the study, and the lead physician (one person) who was responsible for stopping the operations. Many physicians now disagree with the interpretation of the study that was cited to close the center.

http://www.baltimorestyle.com/index.php/style/features_article/fe_sexchange_jf07/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_reassignment_therapy#Controversy

But even assuming your charge is correct – that the study was interpreted accurately and suggested JH should close the center, surgeries performed in the 60′s are very different than the process today. It’s clear from subsequent studies that there are some individuals that want the surgery, but do not benefit from it. But there are also many who do benefit from it and are indeed “cured”. The job of a medical professional is to determine who are good candidates, and who are not. To use your own example, we should not ban all liposuction simply because there are some anorexics who seek it, nor should we declare it categorically evil on the same basis.

Even so, the majority of transgender people don’t undergo the surgery anyway.

As to your assessment of me personally I will simply say that you are categorically wrong about my life experience and your judgement inaccurate. If you don’t live in the wrong body you cannot begin to understand or rationalize what it feels like – or what the origin. In my case, I was one of three siblings raised at the same time by the same parents, in a conservative Christian home. My heterosexual parents are each content in their gender, and have been happily married for 35 years. Neither have experienced gender identity disorder.

Neither my brother nor sister have experienced the gender identity I have, both are heterosexual and happy in their biological sex. It is simply not possible my parents ‘accidentally’ made me transgender, while my brother and sister experienced something different.

As a matter of fact, I knew I was in the wrong body before I even knew what sexuality or sexual identity was, before I knew the real differences between men and women. I didn’t become “interested in” being transgender as a result of sexual arousal, or any outside stimulus. This isn’t something that involves decision, it just is. From my earliest memories I felt like I was a girl. My parents didn’t raise me as a girl, nor did they encourage my interest in dolls, or playing house etc. Actually, one of my earliest requests for Christmas was a doll, but my parents responded by getting me a more boy-appropriate teddy bear (which became one of my favorite toys). They didn’t shame me, nor did they encourage me, but they did tell me that dolls are for girls. Something echoed less lovingly by my 1st grade peers when I played house with the girls during recess. Like nearly all transgender individuals, I learned early on that I was safer to try and bury my gender and learn to fake masculinity, and hang out with the boys.

And this is why your criticisms against my wife, my parents, and me just makes no sense. In my case (and for most transgender individuals) we know in our very souls that this isn’t about sexuality or some fetish. I’ve actually never had much interest in sex, and didn’t even experience it until after I was married. In sexuality I am more asexual, than heterosexual – and certainly not homosexual.

Your religious arguments also do not stand for me. You assume your God only makes people “male” or “female” but Jesus Himself disagrees with this position.

In Matthew 19:12, Jesus stated:
“For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

While I do agree there are some that may seek out sex change for the wrong reasons (this is well documented and certainly the adult entertainment industry likes to profit from and perpetuate erotica stereotypes), I know there are many who were born from the womb with the inability to function as a sexual male (or female for some) and have no interest in living an inauthentic existence. Whether it’s “between the ears” as you claim, or something else does not matter to me. It is clear that your God makes some people that way, that some make themselves that way, and some have sadly been forced to be that way.

This being said, I do not believe that being transgender is ‘satanic oppression’, but rather the way I was made – I accept this. In contrast I’d say the most painful oppression I have experienced in my life is not as a result of being transgender, but a result of judgement, insult, and ignorance clothed in religion.

http://www.citizenlink.org/FOSI/homosexuality/hgeducation/A000010339.cfm

I feel truly sorry for your pain –and your wife’s –and any children if you have them. The cure for the desire to transgender is spiritual –you are created male or female according to the image of God –and His Will. You are lucky to be blessed with a wife who loves you no matter what, but God has forbidden us to give in to such confusion and perpetuate it in our children. I believe that if you seek God’s will for your life, you will succeed at being CONTENT as a male. It is satanic oppression you are undergoing. It is temptation like that which possesses the pedophile –or even the common adulterer. We are to bar the mind’s gateway to sinful thoughts. Dissatisfaction with our given sex is such a thought–and it may be rooted in parental error –surely is, I suspect –but with a wife willing to help you be a MAN, which you ARE, you shouldn’t waste time trying to be like her. It is selfish.

As for weight issues –many of us have them and it has nothing to do with any more than the love of food –yes, self-medication for boredom, for procrastination, for depression- (though the clinically depressed really don’t have interest in anything, including food.)

I’ve never actually been to see a Therapist myself, but I can understand how it could be hugely beneficial in coming to terms with your gender identity. Being able to talk to someone openly, without the fear of being judged or causing offence, can really help to surface all of those feelings that are buried deep inside. I truly believe that self-acceptance is one of the biggest, and possibly most important, steps in creating a better life for yourself. Once you’ve tackled this, nothing seems quite as bad.

For me, this was a huge turning point. Once I accepted that this is who I am, I started living. I still face many challenges, but I’m now able to remain positive and deal with them head-on.

I look forward to reading more.