TG Life

Everyone is a little transgendered

Come on – think about it. The girl that was a tomboy. The boy that liked pink instead of blue. The woman that shunned makeup. The man that was metrosexual.

Gender is a varied thing. Just because you may have the right parts doesn’t mean that you’re completely corresponding with what society says is a real man. Even the culture you’re in sees gender differently than other cultures. In some cultures it is manly to kiss each other, and in others that’s “gay”. Some cultures depend on a matriarchal model, with the women in power, and others insist on men making all the decisions both politically and in the home.

Transgenderism is about identifying with another sex or not identifying very much or at all with the genitalia you were born with. We put so much emphasis upon the physical package that we don’t give people leeway to be themselves, and who they are – who we are - is more than what is below the belt.

Do you ever hear some women say, “God, I hate women. Too much estrogen.”? You have just heard a woman put down her own sex, her own “category”. Why is she doing this? Because she does not fully identify with a specific stereotype of woman or femaleness. Does she also say that she hates men? It’s possible. Why? Because it is considered acceptable in our culture to put men down, and it also could be because she does not fully identify with a specific stereotype of man or maleness. Her identity is partly made up of how she views the sexes, or rather, the people around her. She does not feel fully female or male. She is transgendered, and isn’t even aware of it.

It’s likely you’ve met many people like this. Always complaining about their own sex, and preferring to spend time with people who are toned down versions of what their sex is stereotypically supposed to be or with the opposite sex. Yet we think nothing of it because these actions are not what we would consider blatantly transgendered behaviors.

Yes, transgenderism is typically considered to be more of an overt or extreme state of being, but when you think about what people like – pink or blue, white wine vs. red wine, meat and potatoes or caviar and foie gras, form fitting and tailored clothes or grungy, baggy clothes – gender is not so clear any longer.

It’s easy from a scientific or biological point of view to lump everyone into these two categories of male and female, but we are more than our physical selves. We are spiritual and emotional beings, and each of us is unique in how we present ourselves to the world. Even our definitions of masculinity or femininity are so varied that you would be hard pressed to find two people that agree entirely with the other’s perception of what those mean.

This is transgenderism. It means I am not going to be lumped into a category (although I suppose you could say I just lumped myself into the “transgender” category). It means I am more than my gender and that I am unique. It means that I am a shade of gray. It means I am everything and anything. It means that the possibilities are endless for how I perceive myself and how you perceive me. I am both masculine and feminine. I transcend gender.

I also like pink, enjoy wearing makeup, and happen to really love dresses right now.

© 2008 the girl inside.